Mark Grist's Blog
Blizzard battle aftermath
Thanks for checking out our website!
I’m guessing that some of you have stumbled on this because you’ve seen me competing in a rap battle whilst wearing a suit. It’s only a small part of what I do, but it’s also the most well known. The battle itself was really just a part of what Mixy and I do as Dead Poets.
First off, despite what you may have seen written online, Bradley is NOT my student. I live in Peterborough and he lives in Manchester. I left teaching full time in 2010 to work as a poet, although I still do the odd bit of supply work. We went with a teacher/student angle as we thought it'd be funny and it hadn't been done before.
And that leads on to the next thing I want to say about the reaction to the video. I’m not doing this to teach Bradley any kind of lesson. He clearly doesn’t need one. He came with really intelligent bars. He also used less offensive language – choosing to be the more sophisticated of the two of us, whilst I was the one who ended up trawling the gutter. There aren’t many 17 year olds who would go into a rap battle and insult their opponent by referencing Germany changing their national currency.
Finally, this isn’t my first rap battle. I first battled as ‘The Count of Monte Gristo’, back when I was still teaching full time. My first battle was against a guy called Omen in Peterborough (another emcee you should check out). I won that battle as well – probably with my best line being
‘I went to university? Is that the best that you’ve got?
I’ll take your mother to the opera, and destroy her private box.’
Other than that, I’d like to say thanks to everyone that watched the video or reposted it. I'd also like to say thanks to everyone I've met within the battle rap community. I’m doing this as part of a poetry show I’m writing called ‘The Geek shall inherit the Earth’. I’ll be taking it to the Edinburgh Fringe this summer to see whether anyone finds the experiment as much fun as I do.
The next battle to come up online is against Zain Azrai, a really decent guy from Malaysia. The challenge I set myself was to take him on without any misogyny, homophobia or racism in my bars. We’ll see what people make of it when it comes out!
Read More...
The Scotsman gives Dead Poets four stars
The Scotsman gave us a four star review the other day. Hurrah! Here it is -
What do you get if you mix a hip hop MC with the former Poet Laureate of Peterborough? Answer: a funny and insightful combination of two art forms that have much in common, but are rarely seen in the same room.
Through the story of their unlikely partnership, Mark Grist and MC Mixy use their different forms of lyrical wordplay to break down the clichés associated with both of their musical genres.
When Mark, an English teacher, uses poetry to enthuse about the bright young minds of “difficult” kids, Mixy counteracts this with the perspective of someone who never wanted to go to school. While Mixy battles with being a rapper from “the sticks” rather than “the hood”, Mark paints himself as a cosmopolitan city dweller looking for a “girl who reads” – as he explains through a feminist anthem that will bring joy to the hearts of anyone who is sick of R&B songs about hookers. Meanwhile, Mixy’s rap about poet John Clare proves rap nor poetry need be limited to the subject matter they have come to be associated with.
Things stay just the right side of funny, rather than geeky, and when our likeable hosts decide to swap modes of storytelling, the results are frequently hilarious. By the end you’ll see both rap and poetry as entertaining, uplifting and freeing styles of storytelling united by their potential.
I never though of 'A girl who reads' as being a feminist anthem, but that's a pretty nice thing to say.
Otherwise, the festival is going really well. We packed out again today and the audience were great. We had to stop A LOT and wait for them to stop laughing. Caused us to overrun, but it was a great gig. Two more to go!
Read More...Reviews!
Hi guys, we're in Edinburgh and we're loving it. The audiences that we've had so far have been really up for it, which makes my attempts to battle rap much less intimidating.
We've had two reviews so far as well! Threeweeks and The Scotsman have both given us fours star reviews. We've never been reviewed before (except for in a few blogs) and so we're buzzing.
Once the reviews are available digitally we'll post them up for people to check out. Right now though, we've got a couple of pints to tuck into. :)
If you've come to see us so far, thanks!
Mark
Read More...I'm really, really, really, really good at board games
Well, we did it! A great couple of gigs in Peterborough and Stamford. Thanks to everyone who helped us prepare (particularly Al Wood, Tim Prentice and Lauren Irving) and loads of thanks to everyone who came to the shows. I finished my board games piece for the gigs and it seemed to go down well. Here it is in its entirety. I'd like to dedicate it to the Peterborough hip hop community, who seem to have adopted me as a kind of novelty mascot over the last year. Good guys, all of them (apart from G).;)
This is a safety announcement
For all the rappers in the building,
Particularly the grimers
The angry little rhymers
Who use snappy one liners to hint their life is violence
The truth is at the weekend you're all youth work providers
Badly dressed power rangers, generous but spineless
Clutching at your gear to cover your vaginas
You're a threat to me?
No way do I buy this
And I think you'll find that I'm talking seriously,
You're tough words mean nothing to me
That includes you G,
Just cos you got a beard I refuse to treat you gingerly,
Forget that image that you're relaying
And those fake words you keep on saying
You're not dangerous
But I am
Whenever playing
Board games
Because, you guys in the hood think you're up to no good
But your skills with a d12 are lame
I'll top trump you weak punks, you'll get trashed in kerplunk
I'm really, really, really, really good at board games
I'm like an MB innovation,
Rolling dice and dishing cards without any reservation
When it comes to Risk I'll tell you this
I am the global nation
Coming atcha through Kamchatka like a blue cannon infestation
A Stone Age deforestation
I give mousetrap demonstrations
And every game of operation
Is like a military...um…operation
You'll soon make the observation that there's nothing trivial in my pursuit
Cracking skulls every evening when I'm out of this suit
Playing the odds on Pirates cove stealing your booty
I do pretty well on Atmosphere
Even though that DVD was spooky
I don't give a toss about a loss against you on Call of Duty
Cos I disembowelled you in Guess Who when you were Sue and I was James
That’s cos I'm really, really, really, really good at board games
If it's Punch out I'll Split your lip
If it's poker I'll take each chip
Buckaroo, I'll make you make him kick
Then lightening quick I’ll sink your last Battleship
I fry bacon when I play Pass the pigs
Till you wee wee wee all the way home
And my meeple are lethal in every game of Carcassonne.
I’m in the zone with monopoly
There's just no stopping me
While I'm hop over pieces as the little silver doggie,
So I snap up those oranges, you're stuck on crap property
Ooh! On Mayfair again? Well! What will you offer me, Blud?
Cos you guys think you're tight, think you're up for a fight
But you clearly aren't prepared for the pain
I'll dice you up...as long as it isn't a school night
I'm really, really, really, really good at board games
I'm better than good, I'm...very good
Trained since the cradle
To dominate any kitchen table
In Settlers of Catan I get more ore than Castle Greyskull
While you just get the sheep, which are pretty cheap
And your bartering then is painful
Are you into role-play? Yeah, well I'll dabble
But I'd rather take you down in a game of scrabble
Waving triple word scores
Like they were lethal short swords
Spitting fire on to the board
So second place is your reward
Because the boys in the hood think they're up to no good
But winners live forever and no one will remember Flips’s name
And I'll probably get the shit kicked out of me tonight
But I'm still really, really, really, really good at board games.
Read More...
The AQA Chief examiner...
We took a load of year 11s to Poetry Live in Cambridge on Friday. I really enjoyed the event but the Chief Examiner shocked me. He launched into a lecture on how to analyse poetry and chastised 'over 60,000 students' who, when analysing a poem had said that when turned on its side it looked like a cityscape.
Whilst I agree that the idea of the poem looking like a cityscape wouldn't have answered the question being asked, I was really concerned by the Examiner's rant on this form of analysis. He spoke in a really condescending manner and glowered at the students as he deadpanned 'the poem, like any poem turned on its side, looks like nothing more than a poem. On its side.'
Now, my concern is that I think that poems often do look like things when placed on their side. Also, I think that students (well anyone in fact) should be encouraged to recognise and analyse poetry however they want. I got into English at school because I like the idea that the world isn't full of right and wrong answers. To hear this guy rant that certain ways of looking at poetry are completely off limits really upset me. Where does this restriction of analysis stop? Not good.
Anyway, here is a poem that I wrote for the guy and the kind of teaching he seems to want. Hope you like it.
By Numbers
You’ll make the grade, alright; A
Vaccination. Your mother bought you
The revision guide. Well done. Now just hide
Your mind as you slide towards the exam in June.
It’s easy for you. Laugh from the back of the room.
Feeding on metaphors that have lain brown around the poem for years
Because the world can be a science and don’t you think you’re worth it? Let’s skate
The surface. Get sick with boredom together. Borderline fear. Enjambment. Personify. Onomatopoeia.
Your prediction says so, so never shake that tree. Eat the sour stuff. Don't ever think to question me.
Soon you'll stagger off to the right University.
Divide yourself further from the quiet giants you laughed at
In the corridor. The herbivores you leapt over in class.
The Benchmarks of failure. Darwin’s lost hopes.
Who got their poetry all wrong.
Who wouldn't learn how to pass.
Read More... 1 | 2 Next »
Mark Grist
Mark Grist is an overly enthusiastic English teacher based in Peterborough.
Described as 'fast paced' and 'a favourite on the spoken word scene,' Mark's poetry has gone down surprisingly well with those who probably know a lot more about it than he does.
He has been fortunate enough to have performed in a range of pubs, theatres and clubs across the country, as well as hitting several festivals during the summer.
Over the past two years he has gained the title 'Peterborough Poet Laureate in 2008' and 'Chief Bard of the Fens in 2009,' much to his Mother's delight.
Mark's double act, 'Dead Poets' with hiphop artist MC Mixy has been on a National tour and was featured on Steve Merchant's show on Radio 6.
After an extended writing break/holiday in jersey, 'Dead Poets' are touring again in the spring as well as hitting the Edinburgh Fringe in the summer.
Mark is currently working on a solo project titled 'Shetland Boy' that involves him returning to Unst (the most northern island in Great Britain) where he grew up.
When this is finished he looks forward to having a nap in his hammock.